How to tell your wife you have a gambling problem
Mar 17, · How to Tell Your Partner About Your Gambling Addiction. A gambling addiction can cause a lot of problems in a relationship. You may find yourself lying, stealing, or in massive amounts of debt%(3). Mar 17, · How to Tell Your Family About Your Gambling Addiction. If you have a gambling addiction, the thought of telling your family about it may be just as scary as the thought of quitting%(5). "My husband has a gambling problem that is consuming his life. Or “Your son wonders why you don’t put him as a higher priority than your gambling.”.
Real Voices: The Wife of a Problem Gambler Details Its Damaging Impact
Instead, ask for helpful suggestions and solutions for your problem. Prepare for them wanting to separate the finances. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. If someone in your family reacts negatively to your confession, try not to get too discouraged about it. Let your partner know about any other addictions. To help you when you are telling them, prepare what you want to say ahead of time.
Coping With a Spouse's Gambling Problem
A gambling addiction can cause a lot of problems in a relationship. You may find yourself lying, stealing, or in massive amounts of debt. Telling your partner about your addiction may be a difficult task. When you tell your partner, you should have a plan for what you want to say, be prepared for various reactions, and be honest about your addiction. Learn how to tell your partner about your gambling addiction so you can start towards recovery. Acknowledge that the relationship will change.
Prior to telling your partner, understand that the relationship between the two of you will be different after you tell them. Depending on the extent of your gambling addiction, you may have done things that you are not proud of and that will hurt your partner.
Just be prepared to face any relationship changes. However, you may have to work through some hurt and distrust from your partner. Before you tell your partner, make a commitment to the relationship and making it stronger as you both deal with your addiction. Determine what you want to say. Telling your partner about your addiction may be a very stressful situation for you. To help you when you are telling them, prepare what you want to say ahead of time.
Practice what you want to say with a trusted friend, family member, or your therapist. You can write an entire speech, or you may want to make bullet points of things you want to make sure you cover. Writing down your ideas and having them with you may help if you get in the heat of the moment and are too upset to think straight. Be prepared for all reactions. When you tell your partner about your reaction, you should prepare for any reaction.
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They can affect a partner, child, parent or friend. This is the account of a Minnesotan whose husband was a problem gambler. That changed after I learned more about my husband. The first sign that something was wrong was when he asked me to lend him some money so that his dad could get a new water heater for his car. But a few weeks later when I saw my father-in-law I asked him how his car was working. He gave me a surprised look.
He told me that never happened … and so I began to wonder what was going on. After that, I started noticing that my husband spent increasing amounts of time gambling at the casino. Sometimes, he would spend his whole paycheck on gambling. His gambling got worse. We had made special plans for a trip to celebrate my fiftieth birthday and saved up some money. It seemed that anything that was stressful was a trigger for him to gamble. That experience really opened my eyes to the extent of the problem and what had been going on.
I was told at my first Gam-Anon meeting that it would get worse before it got better. I realized that I was enabling him by lending him money after he lost all of his so he could get through the week buying gas and work lunches. He actually went into a rage and threw away his wedding ring, which we never did find. So yes, it did get worse instead of better, and we eventually separated. My husband finally admitted that he did have a gambling problem but promised me he was done gambling.
He also told the clergy his cousin that the whole marriage breakdown was due to his gambling and that he was not going to gamble anymore because he loved his wife. But just four days later I learned that he left work early to go to Treasure Island. I also learned that his trips up north to visit his brother were trips to the casino. I heard the sounds of the casino.
We eventually got divorced. I still love him and I know he still loves me, but he also understands what he put me through and he knows there is no way we could have a life together given that he still gambles.
He borrowed from his k, depleted a health savings account and small stock account, and was overdrawing a personal checking account. Although the financial damage is distressing, I'm struggling with the daily deception, and fact that he did not admit to a problem until he was on the brink of getting caught.
We are in the process of buying our first home he encouraged this , planning a nice wedding in 6 months, and had wonderful plans for our future together. While the financial damage is reparable, I'm devastated by the dishonesty.
By the time I became aware of the problem this was the 2nd time something like this happened, I didn't realize gambling was at the room the 1st time , fiance had already made arrangements for counseling and GA.
He went to both once, and claims GA is the way he wants to go. And, that we need to attend couple's counseling together. He's refusing, claiming that counseling only digs up old issues, and GA stresses moving forward. I'm so conflicted by all of this. Head says I need to rescind the offer on the house, remove him from all our banking accounts, and possibly move out. Heart says I need to support and love him, since he's sick, but not a bad person. He claims he's never lied about anything except gambling, and has no reason to.
I have no idea what's right anymore. Can't focus on work or school. Cry on a dime. Am overcome by guilt, sadness, shame, and confusion. Met with a counselor today and will be attending Gam-Anon this week. Is there any way to repair the damage and move forward? I see no reason why you should feel guilty for the behavior of others.